Welcome to our retrocomputing section!

Crunchmaster is a 3-foot-long adult Web’s Macaw with a penchant for drinking margaritas bigger than him and playing games for literal infants on his beige computer tower in his wood-walled basement. He’s a real piece of work.

Alongside Crunchmaster is a colorful cast of parrot-themed characters, all with their unique set of problems.

With the end of our streamer era, Crunchmaster and his friends are currently taking a nap, but maybe he will return soon in convenient text form?

Crunchmaster 98

Crunchmaster is a Windows 98 virtual computer. He briefly had a Tumblr blog and has also been allegedly spotted in Tower Unite.

Here are the games he's played!

• Nightmare Ned
• Forestia
• 101 Dalmatians: Escape from DeVil Manor
• Petz 4
• Millie Meter's Nutrition Adventure
• Millie Meter and Her Adventures in the Oak Tree
• Eastern Mind: The Lost Souls of Tong Nou
• Shelley Duvall's It's a Bird's Life & Digby the Dog
• Rugrats Adventure Game
• Putt-Putt Joins the Parade, Saves the Zoo, & Goes to the Moon
• Sonic's Schoolhouse (extremely briefly)
• Pajama Sam In: No Need to Hide When It's Dark Outside
• Pajama Sam 2: Thunder and Lightning Aren't so Frightening
• Freddi Fish and The Case of the Missing Kelp Seeds
• Freddi Fish 2: The Case of the Haunted Schoolhouse
• Freddi Fish 3: The Case of the Stolen Conch Shell
• Disney's Animated Storybook: 101 Dalmatians

Crunchmaster also briefly went to school, though I can't say he learned anything:

• JumpStart Baby
• JumpStart Toddlers
• JumpStart Preschool
• JumpStart Advanced Preschool
• JumpStart 1st Grade
• JumpStart 2nd Grade
• JumpStart Adventures 3rd Grade: Mystery Mountain

And then he dropped out and hasn't been seen since. Sad!

iCrunch

iCrunch thinks he's a very special parrot because he's an iMac.

He hasn't played much:

• The Manhole
• Sim Ant