Crunchmaster 98

Welcome to our retrocomputing section!

Crunchmaster is a 3-foot-long adult Web’s Macaw with a penchant for drinking margaritas bigger than him and playing games for literal infants on his beige computer tower in his wood-walled basement. He’s a real piece of work.

Alongside Crunchmaster is a colorful cast of parrot-themed characters, all with their unique set of problems.

With the end of our streamer era, Crunchmaster and his friends are currently taking a nap, but maybe he will return soon in convenient text form?

Crunchmaster 98

Crunchmaster is a Windows 98 virtual computer. He briefly had a Tumblr blog and has also been allegedly spotted in Tower Unite.

Here are the games he's played!

Crunchmaster also briefly went to school, though I can't say he learned anything:

And then he dropped out and hasn't been seen since. Sad!


iCrunch thinks he's a very special parrot because he's an iMac.

He hasn't played much: